[Health Column] Children with Borderline Intellectual Disability: If Social Language Is Difficult, Is It Also Difficult to Make Friends?

 

hello, Director No Chung-gu of Neuum Korean Medicine Clinic It is. 🌿
If a child is unable to participate in conversations when surrounded by friends or experiences conflict due to a lack of understanding of rules, guardians naturally worry that the child may be having difficulty making friends.

 

Children with borderline intellectual functioning may struggle to grasp the meaning of words or follow conversations depending on the situation. However, simply observing difficulty socializing with friends does not mean the child has borderline intellectual functioning or social problems. It is important to observe whether the child feels comfortable being alone or if they struggle because they do not know how to interact with friends.

 

Based on research and public institution data regarding children's social communication and peer relationships, this article Help needed by the child We will look into it.

 

🌿 What this article covers
· Reasons why it is difficult to participate in conversations even when next to a friend
· The difference between the ability to know the meaning of words and the ability to understand the other person's intention
· How to distinguish between a quiet personality and unwanted isolation
· Help needed for a child struggling with friendships
· How guardians and schools provide support
· How to examine recurring misunderstandings

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I. What are the reasons why it is difficult to participate in a conversation even when you are next to a friend?

To participate in a conversation shared by multiple people You must understand not only the meaning of the words but also the flow and situation of the conversation.

 

There are children who laugh with their friends during recess but cannot properly explain what they talked about when asked. They may have laughed along after seeing their friends laugh, but they might not have understood why they laughed.

 

In situations where multiple people are speaking rapidly, you must listen to new remarks while remembering what was said earlier, and figure out who is speaking to whom. It can become even more difficult to participate in the conversation if the topic changes abruptly or if jokes and indirect expressions are mixed in.

 

A similar pattern appears in play as well. Even if it appears that the child has broken the rules, in reality... You may not have heard the rule that changed in the middle. At this time, rather than pointing out why they are not listening to their friend, it is better to check what explanation they heard and what they understood.

 

II. How do the meaning of words and the ability to understand the other person's intention differ?

Remembering what the other person said and Understanding the intention behind those words is a different ability no see.

 

For example, when a friend says, "You're really good," it could be a sincere compliment or a teasing remark, depending on the situation and their facial expression. Even if you understand the surface meaning of the words, it can be difficult to predict your friend's reaction if you have trouble interpreting their facial expression or the context as well.

 

📌 By examining the meaning of the words, the situation and facial expressions, and the other person's perspective, you can determine what kind of support the child needs.

 

In a study examining the social understanding of children with borderline intelligence, differences were also observed in certain tasks involving the inference of others' thoughts and beliefs. This indicates that when understanding difficulties in peer relationships, it is not only about knowing the meaning of words The ability to grasp the other person's perspective and intentions It shows that it is also necessary to examine.

 

Therefore, rather than simply explaining the child's difficulties as a lack of social awareness, it is better to examine them by breaking them down into specific situations.

 

🌿 Take a closer look at this scene.
· Whether you miss important details when the conversation gets too long
· Whether it is difficult to follow the flow of conversation when multiple people are talking
· Whether it is difficult to understand the meaning of a joke or a refusal
· Whether they get confused when the game rules change

 

Identifying specific situations where difficulties arise helps determine what kind of support is needed.

 

III. How do you distinguish between a quiet personality and unwanted isolation?

Rather than the fact that I have a lot of time alone Whether the child is forming the relationship they want It is important to examine it.

 

If you enjoy drawing alone, can converse comfortably with friends when needed, and participate in play when you wish, there is no need to view being alone as a problem. Even if you do not have many friends, you can still have relationships where you get along comfortably.

 

On the other hand, if they hover around friends wanting to be with them but then return, stay behind alone during every break feeling upset, or cannot understand the reason even though conflicts repeat... You need to check if help is needed.

 

Even if a child appears bright and relaxed at home, they may struggle with peer relationships at school. Therefore, it is advisable to examine parents' observations, the child's own accounts of experiences, and situations observed by teachers together. Studies comparing reports from parents of children with borderline intellectual functioning have also revealed differences in perspectives regarding peer relationship issues. Even if parents perceive no problems with friendships, the child may actually be feeling alienated or uncomfortable.

 

IV. What kind of help does a child struggling with friendships need?

Rather than saying "Try making friends" Practicing expressions and behaviors that can be used in real-life situations This helps.

 

To get along with friends, you need to know when to strike up a conversation, how to participate in games, and what to ask when you don't understand the rules. These skills can be practiced through specific situations rather than through vague advice.

difficult situation	Expressions and actions to practice
When you want to play with friends	Asking "Can I join in?"
When you don't understand the rules of the game	Asking again, "What should I do first?"
When you don't understand what your friend is saying	Check by asking "What does that mean?"
When asked to perform an unwanted action	Saying "I don't like it"
When it is difficult to resolve a situation alone	Asking for help from a trustworthy adult

Rather than teaching various situations all at once from the beginning Choose one situation where the child frequently struggles. It is good to practice.

 

Just because an expression has been learned at home does not mean it can be used immediately at school. You must provide opportunities to try it out in real-life situations and, if necessary, work with the teacher to help the child utilize the expressions they have learned.

 

V. How should guardians and schools provide support?

Along with practicing the child's social skills, An environment where one can safely participate in peer relationships You must prepare.

 

Even if a child learns how to participate in conversations, it is difficult to establish comfortable situations or relationships if they continue to be excluded from school or teased by friends. Difficulties in peer relationships should not be attributed solely to the child's slow comprehension or lack of social skills.

 

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) provides guidance on an approach to understanding and managing social relationships in the classroom. This suggests that peer relationships involve not only individual skills but also Issues to examine in the classroom environment and interactions It shows that.

 

📌 It is helpful to ask the homeroom teacher about specific scenarios rather than "Do you have a friend?"

 

🌿 Situations to check with the homeroom teacher
· How you spend time with friends during break time
· Whether they understand their role in group activities and participate
· Whether they experience difficulties when the rules of the game change
· How you react when you have a conflict with a friend
· Whether teasing and bullying directed at the child are being repeated

 

It is also a good idea to utilize the child's interests when selecting activities. If fast-paced competitive games involving many people feel overwhelming, you can start with activities that have clear rules and allow for small-group participation. However, participating in activities organized by adults does not necessarily mean that friendships must be formed.

 

VI. How should recurring misunderstandings be examined?

Rather than just recording the fact that a conflict arose Be specific about the situation at the time and the child's reaction. It is a good idea to take a look.

 

For example, instead of writing "lack of social skills," you can record who said what, how the child understood it, whether the surroundings were noisy, or if play rules changed. These records help in counseling to determine which areas, such as language comprehension, attention span, and anxiety, need to be examined further.

 

Rather than concluding the cause based on a single behavior, you must also check when the difficulty first appeared and whether it recurs in various environments.

 

Especially if you are in a situation where you refuse to go to school because of a friend, have your money and valuables stolen, or are unable to refuse unwanted demands. You should not wait until the child solves it on their own. You must establish specific protection measures with the school and receive necessary counseling or evaluation.

 

 

🍵 Frequently Asked Questions

Q1. Is social skills therapy necessary if one only has one or two friends?

Do not judge solely based on the number of friends. It is better to consider whether the child is satisfied with their current relationships, feels comfortable around friends, and can ask for help when conflicts arise.

 

Q2. If you get along well with friends, isn't that borderline intelligence?

The possibility of borderline intelligence cannot be ruled out solely on the grounds that a person gets along well with friends. Since cognitive abilities and adaptive functions can vary from individual to individual, overall development, learning, and daily life behaviors must be examined comprehensively.

 

Q3. Will practicing conversation a lot at home solve the problem?

While practicing at home can be helpful, opportunities to use the expressions in real-life peer interactions and a safe environment are also necessary. It is advisable to collaborate with teachers so that the child can use the expressions they have learned at school.

 

Q4. If friendships are difficult, what aspects should be evaluated?

You can specifically examine the ability to understand conversations, grasp the other person's intentions, focus, and emotional regulation. By reviewing the situations in which difficulties occur, their duration, and their impact on daily life, you can determine the necessary assessment and support.

 

🌿 Wrapping up

Sociality is not about the number of friends We grow within relationships. If a child with borderline intellectual functioning struggles with peer relationships, rather than simply encouraging them to make friends, you should specifically examine the situations in which they find it difficult to participate in conversation and play.

What a child needs is not necessarily making many friends. It is important to support them in asking clarifying questions about things they do not understand, refusing unwanted requests, and asking a trustworthy adult for help when they are in trouble.

 

This article provides general health and developmental information and does not replace individual diagnosis or treatment.

 

📚 References
· Baglio F, et al. Social cognition in children with borderline intellectual functioning. Frontiers in Psychology. 2016. — A study on the social understanding and ability to infer the thoughts and beliefs of others of children with borderline intellectual functioning.
· A comparative study on the reporting of peer relationship problems between children with borderline intellectual functioning and their parents. — A study examining the differences in peer relationship experiences reported by children and parents.
· Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Classroom Social Dynamics. — Guide on how to understand and manage social relationships and peer interactions in the classroom
The references were organized based on the content of each source. The interpretation of the research results may be limited depending on the research subjects and evaluation methods.

 

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