What kind of mind is a happy emotion? I'm 고민.

I am in my 20s, 30s, and now I have just passed 40.

Looking back on my life

Ordinary yet a little fun.

Well... I have lived my life just like everyone else!

But I always carry a sense of emptiness in my heart.

It was there...

Everyone just goes along with it, so I guess everyone feels the same.

It's nothing special here.

I let it pass without doing anything. One day, suddenly.

I thought there might be a problem with me...

Did I have a somewhat peculiar personality since I was young?

I have often heard such stories before.

I thought I was accepting it positively and had a good sense of self-esteem. .

I've always wondered... nothing happening around me or in my situation.

At a time when one should feel calm and happy

I always feel emptiness and rather anxious feelings.

I think I felt it.

As I reach my 40s, I want to better understand myself.

I was referred for psychiatric counseling.

After completing the entire testing process

The result is... diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

The current situation one year after that.

There have been many changes!

Until now, whenever there were mood swings

Wandering without knowing how to cope, swept away by those feelings

I was always showing symptoms of bipolar disorder.

 

I get to know a lot about myself through counseling.

Even small matters when I accept the situation

I am making a lot of effort and practicing to recognize that I am taking things too seriously and hurting myself.

Practicing again helps me gain control over the situation.

 

What is clear is that after counseling, you get to know yourself much better.

It is true that the help was very beneficial.

I also got angry at the teacher who gave me counseling.

I cried... and you accepted me completely and comforted me, for which I am very grateful.

 

Nevertheless, my concern is...

Contrary to the way I appear to be controlled externally

Still feeling emptiness

At what point

Feeling an unbearable anxiety, I became extreme.

I feel my heart. .

 

When approximately will this feeling disappear?

I always want it.

I want to be happy..

They always say they're happy on the outside...

Actually, I wonder what exactly happiness feels like.

I don't know. .

I only feel emptiness...

 

What is a happy heart?