My story of gradually overcoming PTSD from a big dog when I was young (currently ongoing!)

Since I was young, I have had PTSD related to dogs. It's because of an incident I experienced when I was in elementary school.

When I was young, I was playing at the neighborhood park when a man was walking a large dog. The dog initially seemed gentle, but suddenly it ran toward me. I want to talk about the PTSD that developed from that incident.

 

That dog was a very large black dog, but I don't know the breed. It looked like this in the picture.

Initially, the dog was on a leash, but it was so long that it effectively rendered the leash meaningless.

So I ran forward to avoid the dog. At that moment, the owner said, "It won't bite~ It’s just because it likes you~ It's okay~"....

They didn't restrain the dog... If it had been now, it would have been absolutely impossible.

Anyway, I was running around and fell forward. Everyone falls when they're young... so I had a lot of blood on my knees and scraped myself all over. The dog owner who was just watching finally hurried over and grabbed the dog when I fell, and I remember finally letting out a sigh of relief at that momentㅠㅠ

Since that incident, I developed severe PTSD related to dogs and became genuinely afraid of them. Small puppies are okay, but when they bark, I flinch. So, whenever a dog passes by, I instinctively avoid it.

There were reactions like, "When was that even a thing? Are you still afraid of it?" Some people told me, "It's just a dog. Don't be so scared." but I injured my knee at that time, and I still have the scar. It seemed like people were taking my PTSD from dogs lightly...

Over time, I continued to avoid dogs, but it occasionally affected my social life as well... A friend invited me to their house, and they had a dog... So I refused to go to my friend's house several times. When I talk about my PTSD related to dogs, some people view it negatively, so I can't be honest about it, and my friend feels disappointed... It also impacts my human relationships.

Because we were truly compatible and good friends, I was honest with my friend later on, and fortunately, my friend was understanding and forgiving. When I mentioned that I was feeling uncomfortable in daily life, they said they would help me overcome PTSD, so I asked how they would do that, and they said that overcoming my fear of dogs was the top priority.

The dog my friend raised was small, so it wasn't a large dog that would cause me PTSD. So I met the dog with my friend. Fortunately, that dog was really gentle and tiny... it didn't run at me.

Since they didn't rush at me, I suddenly felt a huge sense of relief. People's hearts are truly fascinating.

I mustered up the courage and petted a dog for the first time, and I was surprised at how surprisingly soft its fur was. I never thought dog hair could be so soft... That's how I am gradually overcoming PTSD.

It's nothing special, but meeting a dog alone (?) was a big act of courage for me. For now, that's all I'm doing, but I'm thinking of going for a walk with a friend later. Maybe because the dog that gave me PTSD when I was young was an aggressive dog that the owner couldn't control, I feel okay now that I've met a gentle, well-behaved dog.

My past PTSD still remains in my heart, but I am trying to move forward step by step.