Five psychological techniques used by narcissists

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3. 1. Excessively displays affection
   
   From the beginning, they shower you with excessive attention, affection, and praise to gain your trust and make you rely on them. While this behavior might make you think they are the perfect person for you, in reality, they are acting as if they are the right person for you. For example, planning glamorous outings, sending heartfelt messages and flowers just a few days after meeting, or confessing love within a few weeks of meeting. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline in the United States, even being called a 'soulmate' or 'half' within a few weeks of meeting can be a warning sign.
   
   It takes time to get to know each other. If the pace of the relationship feels unsettling, you should talk with the other person.

2. They are gradually undermining you.

Other psychological tricks may sound helpful, but in reality, they subtly undermine you through words and actions. For example, making comments like "You're pretty cute for someone who doesn't care about their appearance" both weaken confidence and emotionally manipulate you into seeking approval. When suggestions are made to exercise or improve your appearance, the initial feeling that they are your perfect match begins to fade.

Dr. Wright warned that such behavior can seriously harm physical and mental health. "Feeling attachment is a basic human need, and when that attachment is threatened, we adjust ourselves to regain it," he explained.

3. Isolates from friends and family

If you are asked to spend time only with your friend or family without going out or meeting others, Dr. Light pointed out that this could also be a tactic with dark intentions hidden within. It aims to isolate the person from other relationships to gain greater power and control in the relationship. Through this, it weakens your identity outside of your life and relationships and makes you dependent on yourself.

Create a situation that provokes jealousy.

People who try to manipulate others enjoy involving a third party in the relationship to foster jealousy and competitiveness. By mentioning how attractive someone else is, they subtly imply that it's not the case or provoke jealousy to make the other person feel that way. Dr. Light explained that this method is a tactic used to make the other person feel anxious and want to prove their own worth.

5. Frequently engages in 'gaslighting'

People who are gaslit begin to doubt whether their own assertions are valid, and they question whether they are remembering conversations or events correctly. When this happens, they feel confused and start to doubt everything they once knew, ultimately handing over control to the other person. When they lose their balance and become confused, seeds of suspicion can also sprout in other situations. Gaslighting includes actions such as lying about what happened through accusations like "you're making things up," and dismissing the other person's thoughts and feelings with responses like "you're overreacting" or "why are you so sensitive."

It is important to distinguish between people who engage in gaslighting and those who simply remember events differently. A good way to identify this is to consider whether the person is willing to listen to the other person's perspective and whether they can admit when they are wrong, according to Dr. Wright.