Visit to Pyeongtaek Bright Yonsei Hospital for Depression Treatment

Hello. It's been about three months since I received treatment for depression. I would like to share my story.

At first, I didn't think I was depressed at all. I just thought it was because work was tough. I worked a lot of overtime, accumulated stress... so I thought that might be the reason. But it gradually became more difficult.
It was so hard to wake up in the morning. Just hearing the alarm sound made my chest feel tight and my head hurt. On the way to work, I kept crying on the subway... I also often cried secretly in the company bathroom. When I got home, I just lay in bed.
I have lost my appetite as well. Foods I used to enjoy eating no longer appeal to me. I've lost 3 kilograms in a month. I kept canceling plans with my friends. I had no desire to meet up or do anything, I just wanted to be alone.
My mistakes at work have increased. I couldn't concentrate well, and I felt like my memory was also declining. I was reprimanded a few times by my team leader. I felt like I was no longer the person I used to be.
The hardest part was not being able to fall asleep at night. I would toss and turn in bed until around 3 or 4 a.m. before finally falling asleep. As a result, mornings were even more difficult... it was a continuous vicious cycle.

The first one to notice was, amusingly, our team leader. Haha.
You must have noticed that I look very different now. One day during lunch, you came to see me and said, "You look like you're having a hard time." That comment suddenly brought tears to my eyes. It felt like everything I had been holding back alone all this time suddenly burst out.
Then he told me to go to the hospital once. At first, I refused. Thoughts like "I'm not depressed" or "I just need to try a little harder"... But I couldn't endure it alone anymore.

Eventually, I went to the Department of Mental Health. With a trembling heart, I explained my condition to the doctor. After listening to my story, the doctor diagnosed me with moderate depression.
I received a prescription and started counseling as well. At first, I was afraid of taking the medication. I wondered, "Will I become addicted if I take the medicine?" and "Do I really have to go this far?" These thoughts crossed my mind. However, the doctor explained everything patiently, which helped me feel at ease.
Since about two weeks after starting treatment, I began to notice slight changes. I started sleeping better little by little, and my appetite returned. Of course, it didn't get better immediately. It improved slowly, gradually.
Especially, I realized that sleeping like this is what sleep really is.
Everyone thought that sleeping for over 30 years meant just sleeping like this, but once I realized that deep sleep is like this, my life started to change.
Through counseling, I was able to gradually organize my feelings. As I started to share my inner thoughts that I didn't even realize I had, I understood why I was feeling so overwhelmed. The pressure to be perfect, the desire to be recognized... those things made me feel very burdened.

I'm not as struggling as I used to be. Of course, there are still times when I feel difficult. But now I know how to cope when those feelings come.
I've also improved a lot at work. I can focus well on my tasks, and my relationships with colleagues have improved. After work, I sometimes exercise and have restarted my hobbies. I've also started meeting friends again.

I have something I really want to say to those struggling with depression.

Please don't endure it alone.

Asking for help is never something to be ashamed of.

I wrote this with the hope that everyone will improve little by little.